I did not forget

Dear Dad,

I didnt forget that Saturday was your anniversary. I still remember that day where I was what I was doing. Sooo many things have changed in the last year. I've closed work. I tried but couldn't do it anymore. The stress was killing me. I should have done what you had told me along time ago. Sell and never look back. I put sooo much in and mess sooo many things up. I have days I can't get it together. I've stress my husband to the point I will never be able to make this all up to him. I wish you were here. You would have know what to do. I hope you and Grandma understand. I feel like I've let sooo many down but most of all I let myself down. So each day I wake up trying to fix the mistakes and total overwhelmed by it all.
The kids are getting big. Its weird how I see you in them. I know we had our issues. Teenagers and parents dont always see eye to eye. I worry about mom. Our relationship is sooo much better. Her health worries me and I wish she would be more proactive about it. I know I cant change her. I just really need her to live a long long time.
So many changes. I'm excited and scared. I wonder what life would be like if you had lived. If I have been in the car with you. I cant change the past. I pray everyday about the future. One day at a time. You would think that after 14 years, I wouldn't still wonder about that day. Give everyone my love. I miss ya'll sooo much.

Love,
Your little girl