The need to put my words down is really calling me there days.
Watch me wiggle and giggle
Three months ago, I shut the door. Walked away and cried. So my future is wide open. Full of debt and stress but open. Now I am trying to figure out what I want to be. In search of myself. Digging thru all the stuff that people think I am to truely find me. I am the eternal optomist. The girl who believes in the end all will be fine. That no matter how hard the road, the end will be worth it. All the tears and pain I have come thru were my fault. I tried to hold on for too long. So each day I will make a list of things I have to get thru that day. Stick to the list and slowly work my way out of this hole. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just cant see it yet. I've let the darkness take me over. It's time fight.
"As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven, it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape." - John Lancaster Spalding
I sit here at my desk listening to the fan spin and the rain fall. With different sounds come different feeling and memories. When a school bus goes by my window it makes me smile and think of my stars. The first bus comes by 5 minutes before theirs. The rain makes me think of lazy days curled up in bed with my husband. Those lazy days are few and far between these days. The honks of the geese overhead tells me that the oranges, reds and yellows of fall are on their way. I dont like it when it is quiet. I always have some type on noise in the house. We forget to stop and be still and listen. Listen to the peace and feel the calmness that comes with it.
There are soo many different paths we can take. The easy path is not always the right path. I pray everyday that God helps me to pick the right path and guides me. I sometimes get lost but He holds my hand a helps me back.