Trust

To trust or not to trust? He has never given me a reason not to trust him. Life has given me reasons not to trust. I hurt him by saying I dont trust. I try to explain but off to sleep we go with this on our minds. Then the nightmare comes. Until this I had not had any around him. I wake up confused. He wants to help but does not know how. I try to remember the dream and all I know is that my father is in it. We spend the rest of the night talking. Im sooo scared Im gonna mess this one up. Im happy so now I am just waiting for the bottom to fallout and for it all to disappear. I decided that I needed to let him see how my kids are and if he ran then I really didnt need to be wasting his or my time. I invited him to go get icecream with the kids and me last night. All new for him seeing as he has no kids no nieces or nephews. I figure scare him away before Im totally in love with him. So we go and I drop him back at his house. We talk later on the phone. He said spent all day thinking about the conversation we had the night before and thinking about how fragile I actually am. He never wants to hurt me. The only time he has ever really seen me before now is at work. There I am strong. I dont backdown. But when I turn right and head for his place I leave that woman behind. My feelings scare me. Im scared that I will wake up and this will have all been a dream. A beautiful dream.
So here I am back at my trust issue. Yes I trust him with my heart and my life. To late now for me to run Ive already fallen for him. Now the question is will he break my heart or will he hold it close to his and protect it? Only time can answer that one.