ok finally back to bloggie what a weekend. I havent slept this good in a long time. The world is a beautiful place and I may be stressed to the point of screaming but when I turn right out of the drive at work I try to forget it all and enjoy my life. How great it is to eat dinner with someone and then stay up half the night talking. To have someone kiss you in the morning and say see ya tonight. All this scares the hell out of me. That he will wake up and see Im not what he wants or needs. As ya'll all know relationships scare the hell out of me. I dont like to tell my feelings but this one is different. As we laid there talking I found myself admitting that I was scared. That I for sure never do. That I enjoyed spending time with him. He makes me smile and laugh. Funny thing is he picked a nick for me "Giggles" and knows nothing about this blog. Our lives were already mixed together now even more. I find him saying the things Im thinking. He does not push me just patiently waits for me to get to a place that Im comfortable with. Yesterday I was having a great day till I stopped back by work. Had the day off was just checking in. Day went down hill fast. So I leave work and go to his place grumpy moody tired and soaking wet (got stuck in a rain storm). I lay around a few minutes and then decide to get a hot burn my life off my skin shower. I get out of the shower and laid in the bed not wanting to disturb his phone call. I pass out. He said he came in there thinking I had melted away in the shower to find me curled up in a ball looking like I was about to cry in my sleep. I woke up at 10 to his arms wrapped around me. I was awake long enough for him to ask me if i wanted something to eat and I passed out again. I finally wake up this morning and start to appolgize for myself and he tells me its no need to appoligize. When I talk he looks at me like what Im saying really matters. He knows I have more issues then Time magizine. He told me to do what is best for me and my kids. So that is what I am doing one day at a time getting my life back together and moving forward. Taking each problem one at a time and figuring out how to fix them. Fix what I can and not worrying about what I cant change.