Sunday, March 26, 2006

"Some folks feel the rain .... Others just get wet"

The first thing that came to mind when i saw this title was something that happened to me a few years ago. My ex and I were leaving our marriage councelor's office, it was a sunny afternoon but it was also raining. I decided to dance around in the rain. My ex just looked at me like I had lost my mind. Ive always loved to dance in the ratn and at that moment I saw how different we were. Being different is not a problem if the other person can imbrace the difference and love you for your little quirks. Its when they look at you like the men in white coats should come get you that you know its not going to work. We can either embrace life or we can just get wet. We can stop to smell the roses or just throw them away when they die. We can accept the challenges of the moment or spend our whole lives hiding. So do you feel the rain or just get wet?

Friday, March 17, 2006

Why is it that people tell lies to make themselves look better? Better yet why is it that family tells lies to make them look better over you? What did I do for you to hate me so? You have always been her favorite and now she thinks I stole from her. All I have ever done is adore you. Look up to you. All I wanted was for you to love me. I followed your shadow hoping one day you would notice me. I would have died for you. If you needed anything I had I would have given it to you. I would have given you my heart if you needed it but now it is broken. How could you let her believe these things? What I have learned in the last year is that the world is not inherently good its evil. If you cant trust family who can you trust? You have won. You have broken my spirit. The job I love is now tanted. No matter what I do they will never trust me or respect me. I know Im not perfect and I have done somethings that I am not proud of and will probably never forgive myself of but you let them believe that I stole from them.

To you who believes I stole from you. Why not ask me? Why not ask for my side? How dare you judge me before even asking me. You helped raise me and you believe this about me. How does that reflect on you? How dare you come here and not even say hello. How dare you? And God help me for loving you.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

I Can't Unlove You Lyrics
By Kenny Rodgers
Postcards and letters
Pictures made to last forever
To Be boxed up
and tossed away
Nick-Nacs, Souvenirs

In an afternoon
Their out of here
They dissapear without a trace
What they mean to me can never be replaced

[chorus]
I cant unthink about you
I cant unfeel your touch
I cant unhear all the words
Unsay all the things that used to mean so much
I wish i could unremember everything
My hearts been through
Im finding out its impossible to do
Oh, its no use
I cant unlove you

Interstates and old songs
Like time they go on and on
I guess i could learn to do the same
I could wake up without you
These two arms not around you
Tell myself its meant to be this way
No matter how i try
Some things i cant change.

[chorus]

I wish i could unremember
Everything my hearts been through
Im finding out its impossible to doIts no use
I cant unlove you

Friday, March 10, 2006

Ok its official no more icecream before bed. I have some messed up dreams when I eat icecream. But some are cool. I didnt know I could fly a fighter jet. But why do they all have to be about death?

Thursday, March 09, 2006

To those that may be wondering. Yes I am alive. Been redoing my showroom. So Ive been working killer hours but Im almost done wooooooohooooooooooo and it looks great.