Dreams

There are some dreams that you just have to let go of. Maybe you out grow them. Maybe they are no longer healthy for you and your family. Why hurt your family over a dream? I have learned that lesson sooo very well over the last few years. And yes I do believe I am letting go of a dream but I am also helping another by doing this. In the end, my family is the one that is either hurt or wins. I have to do what is best for my family. My father once taught me this lesson and at the time I didnt realize it. He sold something he loved (and dreamed of using for his other dream) so that he could help pay for my schooling. At the time I thought nothing of it really. But now looking back he did what he thought in the end would be better for his family. We all have to grow up at some point and realize the world does not revolve around us. My oldest dream is having a family that knows they are loved. Im scared that if I keep trying for this other dream I have that I will never achieve my first. I sometimes wonder if it didnt already help destroy one. I cant change past mistakes but I can take action not to repeat the same mistakes again. A dream for a dream. Not a bad thing.

I've been accussed of not posting enough. Life got all messed up after the last post. Seems everytime I think its getn better I get smacked again. Thats life. I either accept or I slowly die to the world. There have been days that if it werent for my sweetie gluing me back together I would have lost it. If it were not for him telling me he loved me and that we would make it thru it I would have never stopped crying. Even though I have done things that I may never forgive myself for God still blessed me with a man that accepts me.
I have been busy with work and family issues. And if you know me you know I have lots of issues. But it will be ok. Im focused on the finish line. You cant have the rainbows without the rain. Im alive and will try to post more often.