"The greatest man I never knew"- Rebba

As your birthday approaches I think about all that both of us missed out on. You never saw the grandson that has your eyes or that granddaughter that is her mothers twin. but more than that you missed out on your daughters life and she missed out on her fathers wisdom. The past cant be changed and the future does not exsist for us. What I have learned from this is that you have to tell the people you love that you love them every day cause tomorrow is not promised. You were trying and I shut you out. Thats what I am the best at. I get hurt and I shut my love down totally. Guess thats how I got to where I am today. I know you were trying but at the time all I could remember was all the times I needed a fathers love and felt like I didnt get it. I have also learned that people arent perfect and that I have to accept them for who they are. I know you loved me but you werent the type of person that showed your emotions. I should have been there but I wasnt. I cant change that or even know if it would have helped. I love you daddy please forgive me.

Rainy day

I woke up this morning to the sound of rain. I love rain on a hot summer day in the middle of the afternoon. To dance in the rain and not care what the world thinks of me. But todays rain is too cold and dark to dance in. The kind of rain that creeps into your soul and turns your world black.
For it to rain today of all days. I have been busting my butt for the last month to get a big job. Today was the day it was suppose to go out. The rain almost made me cry. The last eight months at work have been very hard for me and today was suppose to be my proud moment. But looks like I will have to wait to see my hard work drive away from my yard. Rain or snow most of the week so dont even know if it will go out this week. As most of you know I love my job. But as for the day I thought would be rainy and black, it was just rainy. Nothing like picking your stars up from school and taking them back to work and watching barbie all afternoon. That is one of the reasons I love my job. I bust my butt when I have to but my stars come first.
So as I fight back the rainy days blues, I look at my stars and remember just how truely blessed I am. All it takes is one Momma I love you and all the days bad stuff goes away. My son asked can you love too much? the answer to that question was "No. There is no such thing as loving you too much." I ask him "How do we love?" "whole heart. Till the stars dont shine no more momma"

Friendship

Into our lives many friends will come
Our heats maybe touched by just a small sum
Friendships come and friendships go
But the love for a true friend will always grow

Who are we?

Do we truely ever know who we are? Are we constaintly changing? Adapting to the world around us? What I have learned from the last couple of years is that I cant be who the world wants me to be. I have to be who I am. Flaws and all I am who I am. Lord know I have tried to change who I am to make the people around me happy. In the end I was the one left unhappy. So I have to learn to except me for me and if the world doesnt love me for who I am then that is their problem. My friends are who they are and if i didnt love them for who they are then I couldnt be their true friend. We all have flaws thats what makes us who we are. I love my friends therefore I accept them flaws and all. Nobody is perfect. To all my friends I love you for you dont change a thing.

Family

Do you have to be blood related to be a family? I think not. My family now covers the world. Some of them I may never see face to face but yet they are still in my heart and on my mind every day. So to my family I just wanted to say I love ya'll and thank you for being there when I need someone to listen to me. You are my rocks, my port in this stormy thing called life.

reddie 

Reflections

As I look back over the last year I wonder. So many changes. So many new friends. Funny how you can never have met a person but have a bond with them greater than your friends you do see. To my bestest cobber Kas thank you so very much for finding me when I was lost and giving me a home. To Cornie I will always treasure the times we have spent talking. I will never forget the late nights reading to you. To Lavie you teach me to look past the past. To Willy you have been my lighthouse in all of my storms. To lost^^ you always know how to make me smile. {ps you wont be lost for long just follow your heart} This last year has taught me soo much. And ya'll were all my teachers. I love ya and will always hold ya'll close to my heart.