I feel like Dorothy today. the wind just keeps blowing and blowing. or maybe its the three little pigs and the big bad wolf. at times i think the building just might give up.

im glad its friday. need the weekend got to get organized for next week and sleep. so many things to do. softball and baseball practice 2 nights a week is really gonna kick my tail. got to get the house clean and try to get paperwork done.

What a week. Grandma was taken to hospital on Sunday came home Monday. I do love her sooo. sad watching her slowly slip away. i am truly blessed to have had her for soo long. of all the things she has taught me unconditional love is the greatest. I've always know no matter what i did she would love me.

Yesterday I got to go on a field trip with my son. it was nice having the day off and spending time with him. they grow up way tooo fast.

Today my daughter was sick. she is better now. I've learned making plan for getn my work done just doesn't work cause something always happens.

PEACE

Quietness washes over my soul
Darkness has been washed away by the rain.
My heart has been made whole.
Peace after the pain.
Memories play thru my mind.
The tears the laughter the hurt the love.
How could I have been so blind
Peace comes from above.

I am all over the place as usual. the need for spring is calling me the sun and wind. the dreams of home are sooo close. as a child i imaged where i would live when i grew up. not the house but the place. my place of center my comfort zone. i love my piece of the farm. i never imagined living anywhere else as a child. watching my child run and play where i did. i knew i wouldnt start out there just eventually end up there. that dream is still very much alive. i picture the driveway and the yard now. working on the house in my mind is going to take longer. trying to see the true home. i hear the laughter of many children some mine by blood others mine by love. the idealist in me wants to make the world a better place one child at a time. the realist wonders exactly how im gonna manage to do that. prayer and love. im still stressed over work but learning that it happens in God's time. He knows my heart and will provide. wants are not needs. each day is a new start to the road of life. one step at a time i will get to the end. all in His time.

Into her life you came

Looking for more than a game
Only to find your goddess
Very lost in her own darkness
Encapsulated in fearful tomb

Your strength you gave to heal her wound
On your shoulder she did cry
Until at last her heart could fly

13 years

i love you daddy

the words you sooo longed to hear.
the words i sooo wish you were here to hear.
the day is forever etched in my head.
i will not work late tonight.
i cant handle the thought of sitting here at your desk when the time comes.
i still listen for the sound of your car pulling up here.
i long for your guidance that i soo hated when you were here.
time teaches us sooo many things.
time taught me that tomorrow is not promised.
i loves yous are for today
dont leave anything unsaid cause tomorrow it may be to late

Im all over the place today. lots to do and little time to get it done. at least most of my house is already clean so my surprise guest for the weekend arent freaking me out. my brother and family are coming to town and just found out they are staying with me. they will be here about 2 am goood thing i dont sleep. then decided to have people over for dinner on saturday the more the merrier. cooking is always interesting when they are here cause they are allergic to everything some are allergic to this and that and some only that. peanuts bananas dairy glutton. i got 1 and 1/2 days off work this week cause my son was sick and only mommy can make it better. was nice having some time to just get stuff done around the house and not have to wait till the weekend to do all the cleaning. so i guess its gonna be a very busy weekend at my house. i cant wait to see my niece and nephew. my kids will be surprised. i havent told them they are coming and wont till i get them from their dad tomorrow.

Got a sick one today. waiting to take him to the dr to find out what he has. the flu has been running around his father's house and school. im eating oranges like a crazy lady. lol. i have managed to get alot at work done today just keep focusing on work and the paper piles are getting a little smaller. one pile at a time its leaving this office or going in its spot wooooooooohooooooooooo. then gonna go home and get that all clean. major scrub down now that germs are gonna be running around. thinking homemade bread and brownies and then some kind of chicken for dinner. im in the mood to try new recipes poor family they always get stuck trying new stuff lol.

Guess I have the winter blues. Mark has mentioned that I dont giggle. Well last night during the Super Bowl half time I did. I sooo want one of those light up costumes. and when they came out with the boxes on their heads I was laughing so hard my husband looked at me like i was crazy. maybe its been sooo long that i giggles that he forgot what it sounded like. the sun is out this morning but suppose to rain again tonight. I'm over the rain. soon spring will be here. I'm ready for sun and being able to work outside. flowers and sunshine.

Why do we hold on to things that have memories we care not to remember attached to them? Why dont we toss them out to purge the sadness? Im thinking tomorrow is the day to purge. Today it has rained all day like tears falling from heaven. Tomorrow is a new day. No rain no tears just new beginnings.

Have you ever sat on the beach and listened to see if you could hear the sun sizzle when it meets the ocean?

Have you ever laid in a grassy field just to have the sun on your face and to listen to the wind speak?

Have you ever danced in a hot summer shower letting the rain wash away the worries?

Have you ever gone for a midnight run just to look at the stars and listen to the rhythm of your own heart?