Im baaaaaaaaaacccccccckkk

What a vacation. I love the mountains. I could have stayed there forever. But I would have run out of money and I missed my family. The kids and I had a great time. Now Im setting at work trying to get my mind back on work but it aint working to well. I did come to the realization that I could be a kept woman. Love me and keep me forever. I loved having the time off with my Stars and not having to answer to anyone or deside when or where we were going. They has soooo much fun going to all the different zoos and caves. Well back to work. HAPPY HALLOWEEN

LOST : BRAIN IF FOUND PLEASE RETURN

I think I have completely lost my mind. I am thinking about finally setting for my CPA. Which means lots of studying and money for testing. I should have done this years ago but at the time didnt seem important. Well now if I do not pass at least one section of the exam by June I have to have a Masters Degree in Accounting in order to take the test. the question is do I need it or is it just something I want to be able to say I did? I know I should have taken it as soon as I got my degree but so much had happened in the time that I got my degree that I really didnt see any way to do it. So now 8 years later I want to take the exam. I have just got to learn to manage my time better and to actually study cause there are 4 exams each costing over $100 to take each time I have to take it. So I really cant afford to take each test more than once. I really think I have lost my mind.

Ariel

Which DISNEY character are you most like?

Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. - James A. Baldwin

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. - James A. Baldwin

Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.' - Erich Fromm

We all hide behind walls but in order to find true love we have to let someone get behind those walls. If we are never willing to let our guard down then how will anyone get to know the true us. I know when I get upset I turn my face away from the person Im talking to I try to hide my eyes from them. I will not even look at them. Scare that it they see what they said or did hurt me then they will know how to hurt me again. I am suppose to be the strong one the outspoken one the idependant one but in the end I am the shy one the scared one. The little girl that doesnt want to rock the boat in fear of being thrown off the boat. But what I have got to learn is that I am the captain of my boat. The people who love me do not mean to hurt my feelings the same as I dont mean to hurt theirs. Sometimes we all say and do things we wish we could take back. We forget that words can hurt more than a hit. Our decisions and actions affect everyone around us.

To my friends and family, I love you all very much . I am sorry for the things I have done that have hurt any of you.
To my Stars, I love ya'll more than life never forget that. till the stars dont shine no more.
To my sweetie, one day I will learn how to tell you how I feel.

TRAILS

The trails of salt left on my cheek
From the tears I cried because Im weak
I need you to hold me in your arms
To protect me from all that harms

I want to give you all my heart
Not just a piece Not just a part
But of this I am very afraid
That you dont want to make a trade

So here I lay trying to sleep
Hoping my love you will keep
But in my heart I guess I know
That one day too you will go

I promise not to hold you back
Cause your life is on a different track
If I let you go your way
Will you come back to me one day?

This week’s theme is Clothes.

How often do you shop for clothes?
when the mood strikes me and I have money to
Do you color coordinate with the seasons?
try to but have thoses favorite cloths that have to be worn at any time
When it comes to trends, do you lead, follow, or ignore them?
follow or go naked
Do you have clothes you’ve never worn?
yes
Would you prefer a job that allowed you to wear jeans daily?
there are jobs that you cant wear jeans every day?
What do you have more of: shirts, pants, skirts, dresses, shorts?
do thongs count? if they dont then shirts
Would you rather buy clothes from a store/boutique, catalog, or online?
store i love trying on different styles
How often do you completely overhaul your entire wardrobe?
last time i got pregnant
Your mother buys you an outfit for your birthday. What is it?
capris and a sexy shirt
Is your style more sexy, elegant, professional, comfy or [fill in the blank]?
comfy with a hint of sexy

Issues

Why is it when asked "are you upset at me?" cant I just say "hell yes Im upset at you" ? Im scared to rock the boat. Im scared that he will tell me to "pack your shit and get the fuck out". Which is very wrong of me cause he is not the one that said that to me. So instead of telling him how I feel I keep it inside which inturn keeps me up most the night with either bad dreams or just not being able to sleep which also means he sleeps like shit too. In the first place if he tells me to leave it isnt like I dont have my own house that I live in most of the week. And if I cant voice my opinion without him telling me to leave then what good is the relationship in the first place. So instead of keeping it inside and letting it all well up and then me going off I need to learn to speak my mind. Telling him 4 days later that it bothered me doesnt work to well.

Today is the 5 years anniversary of the bombing of the USS Cole. I have great respect for the women and men who defend our freedom. My heart cries for their families. How sad to lose a member of your family to the evil of this world. But for these families there is no closer really. They didnt get to see their loved ones laying in the coffin. If it were me I would have a hard time believing they were gone. I wouldnt want to face the pain so somewhere inside of me I would always have the hope that it wasnt them that lay in the ground that it was someone else. That they were somewhere out there trying to get back to me. So as I kiss my Stars goodnight I want to thank you for all that you do. You protect our freedom and try to make sure that my Stars and all Stars will a safe place to grow up. It takes a great person to be willing to die for their country. To the evil in the world, I dont understand how you can hate someone you have never met. How you can be so full of hate as to attack the innocents of children. Hate is a powerful motivator but love is a greater one. what a wonderful world we would live in if we all could learn not to hate differences but to love them and understand that those differences are what makes us all special. Each life is special. From the second of conception we are special. No life is an accident. I hope that I teach my Stars to love and not judge. Judging is for God and not for me.

Update

Well I asked my sweetie why he came to my house and then left 10 minutes after getting there. I was tired of wondering if I had done something wrong. He said he was tired. So then I said why didnt you just tell me that when I asked you to come over after mom's party. He said he didnt want to turn me down. So I said next time your tired just say I would love to but Im tired and I just want to go home to bed. Im a big girl I can handle the truth. It hurt me more thinking I had done something to make you mad then if you had just said you didnt feel like coming over. I guess I will never understand men. I just want him to be happy and hopefully I make him happy and if I dont I hope he would tell me.

I've decided I will probably never understand men.
To my sweetie: Why tell me you will come back to my place stay 15 min decide your tired and go home? Was it something I did or maybe something I didnt do?
To my ex: Why if you have the day off cant you say you will go on a field trip with your child instead of saying you will have to see if you get called to come in for overtime? Which is more important your child or a few extra dollars? That mighty dollars is one of the reasons why we split in the first place. Money can never replace time and love. Its always been "I'll spend time with you when I have nothing better to do" Well boy there is nothing better then spending time with your children.

Rainy Days

I love rainy days. I wish I didnt have to be here at work. Its a great day to be cuddling with my Stars and sweetie. The sound of the rain tapping on the windows and the Stars giggling at the movie. Not worrying about anything and just relaxing the day away. Hmmmmmmm dont think that is going to happen today. When I get home I have got to clean up. I went shopping the other day for clothes for the Stars now I got to wash then and put them all away. ohhhhhhhhhh woooooohoooooooooooooo Im going on vacation at the end of the month. One whole week away from work (except for the calls on my cell which should only be about a million) I cant wait. Just me and the Stars te hehe We are going to cause some people to be glad they dont have kids.

Aphrodite/Eros


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??

cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

You want a Beautiful love, soft
but passionate. You are probably very old
fashioned and polite. You can't stand rude
people, wolf whistles are to you only
dis-respective and immature. You love nature
and everything beautiful in life. You will fall
for a guy that makes you forget about the rest
of the world

I love this picture. I wish I could look like that flouting in the water. Is she died or just dreaming?


Your angel cries due to Lonliness. no one really
understands you and you dont feel you connet to
people on the same level that other people
connect to each. you are the most misunderstood
of all people.you probly dont have many friends
if any at all. this is not a horrible thing.
the most independent of all, your angel morns
for others who cannot understand you. Like your
element: water you are deep and beautiful, but
most of you lies beneath the surface.Your element:water

Why Does Your Angel Cry.....(beautiful pics)
brought to you by

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?